Mark McGwire Painfully Admits to Having…

In a stunning press release yesterday afternoon, Mark McGwire finally admitted to inappropriate behavior that most the country already knew was taking place. “All I can say is that I completely regret everything I’ve done,” McGwire said through an AP statement. “I didn’t want to admit it at first. I said I was just working on growing out a beard, or that my chin hair just grew fast. But it’s time to acknowledge the truth…I have a goatee.”

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