Following a dominating game, the New York Yankees achieved a professional sports worldwide best 27 championships. And it seems there will be no more.

“You know, 27 is a lot, and it’s going be a long, long time before anyone else even gets close,” said Hank Steinbrenner, the acting head of the organization. “I think it’s only fair that we stop buying up all the best players and we give some smaller market teams a chance. I mean, 27 is a whole bunch! Whoo-wee!”

“I came here to win a ring,” Alex Rodriguez commented, “and now that I’ve got it, I think I’ll just take it easy for a few years, bang a few famous singers or something. I mean, really, what’s the point of playing baseball again? It’s just an arbitrary game anyways.”