Why the Nuggest WILL Win Tonight

There’s one very important reason why the nuggets will win tonight.

That’s right. I saw Linas fucking Kleiza at Whole Foods.

He walked directly in front of my car as we were about to leave. And the man, dare I say, is devilishly hansom – not to mention extremely stylish.

So why does this guarantee a win? Let me take you back, about 3 years ago. As I looked at the menu outside California Pizza Kitchen at the Cherry Creek mall, I noticed what I thought to be a gang of hoodlums entering. And I mean these dudes looked seriously hardcore, like they would not hesitate to shoot you.

But in the midst of this gang of hoodlums, there was a recognizable face — none other than that of The Answer, Allen Iverson. That’s right, I saw Allen Iverson at the mall. And you know what? The next night the Nuggets went on to beat the then championship contending Suns by 30 points. Iverson went OFF that night.

So I think it’s pretty clear – anytime I see a Nuggets player, they win big time, and tonight will be no different.

And if you don’t believe that, then you know what – don’t go to the game. The Nuggs don’t need desparate fans begging for a win, they need us to believe in them. Let’s not forget – this is the Western Conference finals, not the first round. This is where champions are made — in the conference finals, and in the parking lot of Whole Foods.