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Wes Welker Gets Concussion Thinking About Dinner
DENVER, CO — Wes Welker is known for being prone to concussions, but this afternoon that was taken to a whole new level.
“I just kept telling myself, ‘don’t think about anything,'” he told Sporting Hipster. “After this last concussion, I really just wanted to rest and let my brain heal up.”
That’s when tragedy struck, as Welker’s wife arrived and asked him what he wanted for dinner.
“Next thing I know I’m laying on the floor with all these paramedics around me asking me if I know who the president it.”
Doctor Sanjay L. Sudinpar of Harvard Medical School says while rare, this type of injury can occur.
“Take a look at this X-ray. Here you can see residual damage from multiple hits to the head — but look here,” he said, pointing to a white streak. “This is where actual thought-strain can indeed cause a concussion, as in Mr. Welker’s case.
“Now for something really crazy, check this out,” the doctor said as he pinned what appeared to be a still from the Kim Kardashian sextape to the wall, sat back and simply smiled.
The Denver Broncos are understandably concerned for Welker’s health.
“There were times where I definitely had to use cognitive thought as a player,” said John Elway, General Manager and Executive Vice President of the team. “It was rare, but occasionally I had to have thoughts — and that can be hard on the body.”
No word yet on Welker’s possible return, but in the meantime he’s just trying to rest up and protect himself by wearing a comically-oversized suit made of beach balls at all times.
“I’ll get back out there,” he tells us. “I would never let President Carter down like that.”
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