Twitter Outage Causing People to Type More than 140 Characters About Twitter Outage

All across the country Twitter users have gone batshit insane over the hours-long Twitter outage. Sporting Hipster has yet to hear back from Twitter concerning the outage, but the Twitter outage has already stirred emotions all across the web.

“I woke up today, logged into my TweetDeck, and it starts telling me it can’t connect? Now what the crap am I supposed to do? This really, really sucks. I guess I could do some laundry, or maybe empty the litter box. Dammit, this sucks,” Eileen Swenson wrote on her WordPress blog, which has not been updated in six months.

“How am I supposed to write stuff that’s longer than 140 characters all day? I don’t have time for this.”

“Waiting for Twitter outage so I can write brief one-liners about random stuff,” read Carlos Ramirez’s FaceBook status early this morning.

“People are freaking out,” says John Stein, a professor of Short Writing at the University of Wisoncsin. “With the economy in a recession, everyone’s trying to cut back where they can, and one of the easiest ways to cut back is with micro-blogging. Without Twitter, we could see a huge increase in character spending limits, as high as 250 characters per blog post.”

But, says Professor Stein, it’s not quite time to panic yet.

“I’d say give the Twitter outage until about 3 p.m. Eastern. Then I’m blowing my fucking balls off.”