Tiger Woods unsure if he'll compete in golf again, but still confident he can cheat on his girlfriend with multiple women

There's a silver lining to everything.

Following a devastating leg injury earlier this year, golf icon Tiger Woods announced that while his days of competing in golf at the highest levels may be over, he can “still fuck like a boss.”

“My putter might be a little dinged up, but my wood is just fine, if you catch my drift,” he told media at a press conference with a sly wink.

When asked about whether he might ever enter even small tournaments, Woods simply replied, “small, large, medium, hell I’ll enter it all right,” making air quotes with his fingers as he said “enter.”

“I mean look, maybe I won’t break the record for most majors won, but that doesn’t mean I can’t tell my girlfriend I have a business meeting while I’m actually having a threesome with pornstars.”

He then ended the conference by shouting “TIGER OUT” and flipping off the entire room as he walked backwards through the door.