On His way to hand out candy at a local children’s hospital, Tim Tebow was frantically flagged down in downtown Denver this morning.
“This man is having a heart attack!” A citizen screamed.
Without thinking The Tebow demanded a napkin, safety pin, and tire iron.
“There’s little time!” He said.
As He worked on the patient, He quickly discovered the blockage — a group of small, underprivileged kittens that just needed a little help.
Other feats The Tebow has performed since arriving in Denver:
-Magically transformed bowl of oatmeal into the souls of aborted fetuses
-C’mon, how can you top that. I mean, fuck man. Shit.