Steve Jobs to Announce Release of First Ever iButt

In a stunning announcement from this year’s Consumer Electronics Show (CES), Apple founder and tech icon Steve Jobs revealed the latest revolutionary personal technology from the company that has changed the way people listen to music and use cellphones.

“The iButt is the first ever fully digital, touch sensitive personal butt device for consumers around the world.” He said during a presentation at CES 2010.

“This will revolutionize the way people sit, fart, poop, shart, bend over, ass-bump, have anal sex, look at buttholes, and wipe, among other things.”

Analysts across industry dailies are already buzzing, calling this the death of “analogue butts,” and the “radical reinvention of glute based industry.”

The iButt is slated to be released sometime in the next 3-437 months.