Plaxico Burress Pleads Guilty to Having Commonly Misspelled Name

Hanging his head solemnly in a New Jersey courtroom, Plaxico Buress today admitted that he does indeed have a difficult to spell and commonly misspelled name.

“I know what I’ve done is stupid. I mean when you say it, it almost sounds like it should be spelled with an ‘e’ — but it’s not. And I’m sorry for that, I really am, I wish it was more obvious how my name is spelled when you hear it. But it’s not, and I can’t change the decision that caused this, I can only move forward and try to make things better. I can only take the time to stop and tell people, ‘no, no it’s spelled with an a.'”

“I’d also like to extend an invitation to other athletes who share this affliction. Tshimanga Biakabatuka, Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje, Mark Buehrle – you are my brothers in this, and together we can teach this great nation that incorrect spelling can be eradicated within our lifetime.”