NCAA Tournament to Expand to 688 Teams, Will Take 6 Years to Complete

Talk of expanding the men’s NCAA Basketball Championship has been circulating all season long, and now the official word is in.

“We are pleased to announce,” said some schmuck at some gay ass press conference, “that we have decided to expand the men’s tournament to give every college, junior college, and community college a fair shot at winning.”

Among the new changes:

-688 teams will compete, creating 344 games. Brackets are expected to be roughly 70 pages long

-The regular season will be completely erased

-Tournament will take place in 6 year cycles, starting and ending dates to be determined by complex astronomical equations involving the moon and Bobby Knight’s sweater drawer

-Players will be allowed to leave for the NBA anytime they like, and even come back for a game or two

-“March Madness” will be replaced by the term “Fucking Crazy Shitballs”

-Fans of NCAA basketball expected to begin mass murder/suicides as early as August