Lebron James finally revealed his decision in a one hour, douche filled special on ESPN Thursday night.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I created this hour-long special — yes, an hour-long special (even though it will only take me 4 seconds to say this) — because I want the entire world to know my decision.”
Children across the country adorned their James jerseys, while the city of Cleveland collectively held its breath.
“I want to make it clear where I stand. After a lot of thought, a lot of meetings, and finally, this hour-long special on the douchiest sports property on the planet, I’ve come to my decision: I am a huge, giant, fucking douchebag!”
Reaction was mixed, with 99% of the country already in agreement, while 1% still think Kobe Bryant is a bigger douche.
In a related story, one that totally got Lebron, like, totally stoked, Sporting Hipster has announced that Lebron James is an official Sports Hipster of the Year nominee for 2010.