Larry Johnson: “My Apologies to the Gays”

Larry Johnson was released by the Kansas City Chiefs following his use of offensive gay slurs, not to mention really, really shitty play.

“Whoops, my bad,” Johnson said in a prepared statement, wearing an oversized boa and skin tight spandex unitard. “I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to the gays. You’re gay, and that sucks bad enough without someone like me pointing it out. I’m not sure if you gays know how to speak English or not, but for those gays that can hear me out there, I’M sooooooo SORRRRRRRY, you guuuuuuys!!!”

When asked if he would perhaps do some community outreach in the gay community, he responded with, “yucky! I don’t want to catch that.”