Kentucky Remains Unbeaten With Late Comeback; Still a Shitty Place to Live

Kentucky remained undefeated following a late comeback against Florida last night. Many analysts are now officially putting them in the elite class of championship contendors for 2010. Most agree, however, that this in no way makes Kentucky any less of a fucking awful, shitty shithole of a state.

Despite John Wall’s spectacular freshman season, and John Calipari’s quick turnaround of the program, Kentucky is still full of inbred morons “riding” horses. And even though Eric Bledsoe scored a career-high 25 points, the state still continued to be the home of two of the deadliest industries in America — Tobacco and Kentucky Fried Chicken.

“It was a huge win for us,” said Coach John Calipari. “But after the game was over, I was like, ‘oh yeah, I still live in this fucking shithole.’ So I stopped by the Walmart to buy a shotgun with which to blow my balls off. Sadly, they were sold old.”

No word yet if Kentuckians were using the shotguns to rape horses or shoot blenders in their front yards.