Jeremy Lin Offends Self by Eating Fortune Cookie

NEW YORK–Jeremy Lin and the Linsanity craze is the hottest story in sports right now. But American media has been unsure how to handle a popular Asian-American athlete.

In the latest offensive gesture, Jeremy Lin was recently spotted eating a fortune cookie after a meal at a Taiwanese restaurant in New York, which immediately created a media firestorm.

“Dats effed up bro y u have n0 r3sp3ct,” tweeted Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Headlines blasted Lin for offending Lin, and several people at various newspapers were fired for even thinking about publishing anything that maybe could be offensive.

“I thought about including a note about the post-colonial nature of current Taiwanese culture,” said Joe McNabb, a reporter in New York. “But my boss noticed that I had included something about how boba tea is popular in Taiwan, and said it was really insensitive. Funny part is, he was sipping on one when he fired me. At least I can appreciate the rich irony of it all.”

Jeremy Lin himself seemed unaffected by his own offensive act, as he simply chewed the fortune cookie, his saliva breaking down the cookie until it ultimately made it’s way through his intestinal tract. When reached for comment, he simply said, “Who are you? Why do you keep following me?”

It’s unclear when the New York Knicks will cut the rest of the team, and have a team of only non-offensive Asian-Americans, but one thing is for sure — fortune cookies are fun!