

Discover more from Sporting Hipster
In Tribute to Michael Jackson, Athletes Perform Unison Crotch Grab

As the nation continues to mourn the passing of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, athletes around the country paid a special tribute last night with a country wide crotch grab at approximatley 8:23 p.m. EST.
“It’s been a tough week, and I think we just all felt like we needed to do something to express our pain,” Jim Thome said after his game last night. “And the most appropriate thing I could think of was to grab my dick and just let all the emotions run free.”
“Sure, a little grab is a nice tribute,” pitcher Randy “Long” Johnson said, “but I personally kept my hand their for just a little bit longer, and threw in a couple jostles for good measure.”
Similar tributes are being performed across the country, mostly by 13 year old boys in their bedrooms.