Five Hip Christmas Songs to Enjoy By the Ironic Fire (Videos Included)

As the yuletide “logs” burn, and you begin to don your hilarious snowman sweater circa 1980s which you bought at Goodwill, there’s only one thing left to complete your holiday scene — the ultimate holiday playlist. Here’s five hip Christmas songs that you simply MUST include for this year’s holiday party:

1. Christmas Rappin’ – Kurtis Blow

This is quite possibly the most important song to include on your playlist. It’s obscure, from the ’80s, and features such lines as, “this ain’t 1823.” While many of the songs on this list will be included on many of your friends holiday playlists, you will come across as a pop culture phenom for being the first to bust this one out with the eggnog.

2. Ramones – Merry Christmas Baby (I Don’t Want to Fight)

This inclusion is a no-brainer, but if you don’t include it, you may as well pack up your women’s size Rolling Stones t-shirt and move the fuck out, because you will be looked upon as the greatest idiot of all time. “Remember that Christmas party where that dude had all the cool hipster music, but then didn’t even put on the Ramones Christmas song? Fuck that asshole — let’s murder him!!!!”

So unless you want to be murdered by a gang of angry, skinny, wimpy people, you better include this song.

3. Archers of Loaf – Assassination on X-Mas Eve

Archers of Loaf used to be really fucking trendy, then they were so hip that they became uncool (which was total BS, btw), and now are considered original indie rockers, which makes them cool again (really, they were just always good). All this means that you must include this song on your holiday playlist. Just wait until you hear that cry of rocognition, followed by admission of the cleverness of inclusion, finally resulting in the ultimate hipster playlist move — making your friends jealous they didn’t think of it first.

We couldn’t find a video for this song, so enjoy this video of some guy dressed as Santa doing parkour instead:

4. Dandy Warhols – Little Drummer Boy

You have to have at least one cover on your playlist, probably more. If you’re going to include a cover of the Little Drummer Boy (because we all know that bible verse about the drumline kid that came to perform for baby Jesus), it may as well be one by the Dandy Warhols. They’re often lumped in with the Brian Jonestown Massacre, which is enough reason to make any song hip as fuck.

5. Jose Feliciano – Feliz Navidad

You also must include at least one classic, but Frank Sinatra is too obvious. Why not go back to the ’70s, when feathered hair was almost as popular as it is now? There’s really no more reason to argue for this one, it just fucking rules:

Be sure you include these five hip Christmas songs on your next holiday playlist. Here’s a few more alternates to consider:

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas – Henry Rollins

Christmas Is – Run DMC (good alternative to the obvious “Christmas in Hollis”)

Fairytale in New York – The Pogues with that One Chick

The Night Santa Went Crazy – Weird Al