The city of Philadelphia has ophicially eradicated the letter F.

“Phuck you, F!” Said Philadelphia mayor, Michael Nutter.

All across the city, as well as all over ESPN, people have been hard at work the last phew days thinking of ever more clever ways to make puns using a P and an H.

“Phrankly, I’d prepher phrozen phish over phree phries if I’m Phred Phlinstone!” Torny Cornhiser wrote on ESPN.com this morning, losing all care to even remotely make sense.

One child has thus phar been hospitalized due to Phillies’ Phever, but is expected to recover phully at home, with no health threatening symptoms whatsoever.

The city of New York meanwhile, has temporarily banned all PH combinations. Mayor Bloomberg was unavailable by fone.