DENVER, CO — Wes Welker is known for being prone to concussions, but this afternoon that was taken to a whole new level.
“I just kept telling myself, ‘don’t think about anything,'” he told Sporting Hipster. “After this last concussion, I really just wanted to rest and let my brain heal up.”
That’s when tragedy struck, as Welker’s wife arrived and asked him what he wanted for dinner.
“Next thing I know I’m laying on the floor with all these paramedics around me asking me if I know who the president it.”
Doctor Sanjay L. Sudinpar of Harvard Medical School says while rare, this type of injury can occur.
“Take a look at this X-ray. Here you can see residual damage from multiple hits to the head — but look here,” he said, pointing to a white streak. “This is where actual thought-strain can indeed cause a concussion, as in Mr. Welker’s case.
“Now for something really crazy, check this out,” the doctor said as he pinned what appeared to be a still from the Kim Kardashian sextape to the wall, sat back and simply smiled.
The Denver Broncos are understandably concerned for Welker’s health.
“There were times where I definitely had to use cognitive thought as a player,” said John Elway, General Manager and Executive Vice President of the team. “It was rare, but occasionally I had to have thoughts — and that can be hard on the body.”
No word yet on Welker’s possible return, but in the meantime he’s just trying to rest up and protect himself by wearing a comically-oversized suit made of beach balls at all times.
“I’ll get back out there,” he tells us. “I would never let President Carter down like that.”
For more on Wes Welker, visit a site which has articles about him. Go ahead. We said do it! Jesus, just do it.